Be Kind to Yourself.

I recently heard an acquaintance of mine saying that she wished that her eldest daughter knew how talented she was.  She went on to say that she felt her daughter was extremely kind and generous, but always played down her skills to a point where they were almost seen as a bad thing, and it drove Mom mad!

The thing I had noticed, was that Mom often did the same thing.

Mom herself is an amazing woman, who has achieved a lot in life, but often spends time saying how she feels she isn’t “good enough”, or her achievements are nothing compared to others around her.  Could it be that her daughter is hearing this, and feels the need to do the same?

At college, there was a teacher there who one day said that she was getting concerned that her daughter (aged 11 at the time) was developing problems with food, as she kept saying she was “fat” and wanted to “go on a diet”.  She couldn’t work out where this had come from!  The thing was, whether she realised it or not, she herself was always talking about trying the latest diet, or “needing to lose a few pounds”.

I recently had an experience where I realised that a child was copying what I said and did, as it was the best way for him to experience feeling the words on his tongue and the movement in his body, so that he could learn these new things for himself.  I was his reference point! (Scary!)

It made me realise that children are absorbing information all the time – even when we think that they are looking at (or doing) something else.  They are taking on our negative thoughts about ourselves (even if we don’t intend for them to hear them) and thinking that this is how it should be for them too.  They are copying (at any age) the examples being set for them by their nearest adults, the people that they look up to.  We too have probably learned our behaviour from someone that we looked up to as we were growing up, and some habits can be hard to break.  We are setting examples without always being aware of the type of example that we are setting.

So, if we want the children around us to be the amazing beings that we know they can be, then we have to start doing the same for us, yes?

Let’s start with being kind to ourselves.

Have a great day!

Vixx 😀

Twitter: @KineticL

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/KineticLifestyle

Copyright 2017 Vixx Thompson/Kinetic Lifestyle. Please do not reproduce without permission.

I overthink sometimes. Do you? (Pt.3 Rent-free living)

Have you ever had a situation with someone that has really bothered you?  Or repeated run-ins with someone that you don’t get on with?  Have these situations played on your mind long after you have gone away from it?

Has someone ever said something unfair to you that has just burned into your brain, and the comment just will not leave you alone?

Do they even keep you awake at night, wishing that you had done something differently?

This is what happens when someone other than yourself is living inside your head –  and no-one should get to live there rent free.

One thing to mention before I continue:

What someone may think of you is THEIR opinion only – regardless of how it came about.  You are unlikely to change that opinion quickly, if at all, if it is a negative opinion.  Don’t worry about how they came to that opinion either unless it is a common thread within your life – and if it’s a common thread, chances are that you will need to change the thread before you can change opinion.

So, how can we start to change things?

  1. If you can’t change the opinion, then forget about it as best you can. 

I find that it is always the negative comment that I can’t forget.  I did a show recently where there were lots and lots of genuine compliments for my work, and then suddenly one person came along and with a series of comments, worked to try and drag me down.

You can guess the person who had the most impact on my day?

There could have been many reasons that this person decided to try and bring me down, but I came to the conclusion that bearing in mind that this person had met me only a few minutes previously, then she could have done that with other people that day – or she could just even be a negative type of person.  We all know that misery likes company, and she may well have wanted other people to feel as bad as she did.

Her problem, not mine.

There are definitely going to be other people out there who have a negative viewpoint of me based on the few things that they may know about me, but that is skewed based on seeing what they want to see, rather than actually taking time to get to know me.

This is their choice.

I cannot make them change that opinion, but I do not have to spend time with people who feel like this about me.  I will actively minimise time with people like this, because I do not need or want the negativity.  I recommend that you look at doing this whenever you can too.

2. If there is something you can/want to do, then work towards it.

As I said above, if there is a theme running through your life of negative issues, then there is nothing to stop you having a look at this, and if you feel that something needs work, then take the steps you need to be able to empower yourself.

Ask people you trust for honest evaluations of who you are if you need to, as this can often help you to see how other people see you.  Does something genuinely need to be changed, or does it just need slight adjustment?

Self improvement doesn’t have to be drastic, but it can be effective in order to get you where you need to be.

3. Look at how you value yourself.

How do you value yourself?  Think about that for a second.

If you don’t value yourself, then how can other people value you?  If you place a low value on yourself, then what do you think if someone comes along and places a lower value on you?  Do you agree with it?

What happens if someone places a higher value on you than you have on yourself?  Do you trust that opinion? Of course you don’t – because it is a higher opinion of you than you have of yourself!

EVERYONE is amazing in their own way.  As the saying goes:

“If you tell a fish that it is thick because it cannot climb a tree, then it will spend its life believing that it is stupid.”

We ALL have our own set of skills that are unique to US.  We need to learn to be proud of those skills, and not belittle them, or ignore them.  When we can be more confident about ourselves, then we will pay less attention to what other people think about us.

The girl making those comments to me at the show – they stung.  But once I had looked at the situation (and discussed it with a friend who was there), then I realised that it said more about her than it did about me, and it was easier to let go of.

(This goes back to part 2 – it’s not always about you…)

Don’t let anyone live rent-free in your emotions – it’s a cost that you don’t need to pay.

Go out and be AMAZING!

Have a great day!

Vixx 😀

Copyright 2017. Vixx Thompson and Kinetic Lifestyle.  Please don’t reproduce without permission.

I over think sometimes. Do you? (Part 2: It’s not always about you).

Another source of overthinking angst seems to come from the perceived perception of others toward us.  You know, when someone appears to be rude to us, or ignores us?

A seemingly simple interaction can leave us thinking “What have I done?”, and worried that someone might dislike us.  This can leave people worried, nervous and in some cases, sleepless.  We as humans have a need to be liked or wanted – and something going against that can make people feel awkward, especially if we cannot find a reason for this.

The thing is – sometimes, it is nothing to do with you!

The cashier in the shop who might have looked miserable?  She might have just been given bad news.
The taxi driver who just ignored you as you tried to get his attention?  He might have been thinking about what to have for dinner.
The doctor who you feel isn’t listening to you or taking you seriously? They might have had to tell someone that their treatment isn’t working.

These people haven’t set out to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings – they are experiencing their world in a different way today to how we are experiencing ours, and it isn’t always rainbows and roses.

Sometimes, shit happens to other people as well as it does to us.

On ANY other day, these things wouldn’t affect you, and chances are you wouldn’t even have thought twice about someone else’s perceived perception of you.  The cashier might have smiled as you did your shopping.  The taxi driver may have seen you trying to get his cab and picked you up – and the doctor may not have had to give upsetting news to someone else.

It does hurt when we feel that we are being overlooked or slighted.  The way I look at it is that if it is someone I really care about, I will ask how they are and see how they are doing.  If I have caused any offence, then I will ask what I can do to rectify the situation.

If it is someone I don’t know, then chances are that they don’t know me well enough to purposely overlook me or offend me.  It is more likely that their reaction is nothing to do with me at all, and I’m drawing their response into my patterns of thought and feelings and reacting as if it were directed at me.

So now, when these situations occur I try to think about the other person and how their day might be going.  Chances are, it’s not about me – and it never was.

Are there situations that you can think about where this might have applied?

There is one more part to come, so stay tuned.

Have a great day,

Vixx 😀

http://www.kinetic-lifestyle.com
Twitter: @KineticL
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/KineticLifestyle/

Copyright 2017 Vixx Thompson. All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce without permission.

I over think sometimes. Do you? (Part 1)

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(Photo shared from Dodinsky’s FB page).

I had quite a response when I shared this on my FB page, with many people asking how you can stop overthinking.

I used to do this all the time (some people say I still do!) but a friend of mine shared her rule of thumb with me, and in the main – it works. So I will share it with you in the hope that if you overthink too, you might get some benefit.

She used to say – if there is something bothering you, then have a think and answer this question:

“Can I do something about this right now?”

If the answer is YES, then do what you can – write a plan of action if you need to – and crack on with it.

If the answer is NO – then who do you have to wait for – or what do you have to wait for – in order to be able to progress?

If I had to wait for something else to happen, I found it was easier to let the issue go and move on knowing that I’d done all I could at that point in time.  If there was something I could do then I either got on with it, or set out my plan of action to see where I could best use my time.

I find that this can be an effective way of starting to deal with something, but I have other tricks to share with you, so try this one out for now and stay tuned!

Have a great day,

Vixx 😀

http://www.kinetic-lifestyle.com
Twitter: @KineticL
Facebook: www.facebook.com/KineticLifestyle/

Copyright 2017 Vixx Thompson. All rights reserved. No reproduction without permission.

Marcothon – A year later…..

I didn’t stop running. Still going.

Here are some stats from successfully completing 366 days of running (trust me to do this on a Leap year!!)

In 366 days I ran 973.7 miles.  I wanted to go for 1000 but have been ill most of November. Continuing the streak was more important to me than lots of mileage.

That 973.7 miles took a total time of 185hrs 28minutes 31secs.

Working on an average of 100 calories per mile (although I am ‘bigger than average’ for a runner) that means I burned off 97370 calories. My body shape has changed but I am still roughly the same weight that I was at the start of the year.

My fastest mile was approximately 8:20.

My slowest mile was 12:45 – the day after both the Manchester Marathon and the Salisbury 54321 events.

The earliest run I went out on was 5:58am. The photo below was taken an hour later.

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The latest one I did was just after 8pm.

The best place (in a tight competition) I ran was the disused runway at Templehof Airport, Berlin (below). From one end to the other it was 1.3 miles.

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The weirdest place I ran was 1 mile up and down the quieter platform at Kensington Olympia tube/rail station after spending all day working at an exhibition there.

Marcothon has different rules – a minimum of 3 miles or 25 minutes, whichever comes first.  To start or keep a streak (or #runstreak) going, you only have to do 1 mile per day, which at the slowest pace to count as a run would be about 15 minutes.  So whilst I am once more taking part in Marcothon, I will be trying to do the 25 minute minimum per day.

After a while I started taking pictures of things I saw as I ran.  They can be found on Instagram (vixxthompson) under the hashtag #thingsiseewhenirun.  I will post some of my favourites in a blog or two soon.

Follow me:

Twitter: @KineticL

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Instagram: vixxthompson / KineticVixx

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Copyright 2016 Kinetic Lifestyle/Vixx Thompson. Please do not reproduce without permission.

100 not out…

Marcothon finished, but I did not.

From December 1st to today (March 9th) amounts to 100 days.

100 days where I have run at least 1 mile every day.

Here are some stats:

Since December 1st (to today) I have run 320 miles.

Working on a basis of 100 calories per mile (but most likely more as I’m not a skinny thing), I have burned off 32,000 calories.

My fastest mile was yesterday at 8:57 min/mile. I stopped after one mile because it wasn’t going to get better than that!

I’ve done a few slow miles – mostly around 12:30min/mile – and some of the longer sessions I have done have been run-walks after about 4 or 5 miles so that I can start upping the distances again so those can be a little slower still, but I note all the walking distances so that I know I am running more than I walk.

Overall, I have become faster.  On Dec 1st I did a 5km to get a reasonable judgement on where I was at.  Dec 2nd was faster, but it was not a very nice day and I needed to let off some steam.  So Dec 1st was still the benchmark.  That 5km was done in 32:00min.

Today I hit 5km in 28:30min.  I managed 4 miles in 37:45min.  I have not done that for quite some time.

But what have I learned?

Over this time, a large number of people have all expressed concern that I’m not having ‘rest days’.  I shall address this in a separate blog, as my thoughts on it are quite lengthy. I have, however used it as a way of getting more acquainted with my own body – getting used to how it feels under pressure, and how the aches and pains that were almost ever-present in December are now more manageable because I am listening and reacting differently.

Some days it can just be Mind Over Matter.  Days where I know I will be pushed for time, I can be out and running before I am truly awake.  Luckily, I am dressed!  It stops procrastination, and I’m home and making coffee in the time I would have spent faffing around debating what time to get out there.

The best runs are often the ones you dread the most.  I went out in one the other week.  The car said it was 3C outside, and there were flurries of snow dancing around in the wind.  It felt like -1C, and catching my breath wasn’t always easy, but it felt strangely exhilarating!  Another day the wind was hefty and the rain was falling.  My legs felt like lead.  You can’t choose the weather to run in.  You roll the dice and go when you can. If it’s sunny half an hour later, then that’s just the way it is.  I have to say – I did love the Christmas lights during December.

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I’ve tried to run in as many different places as I can, so that I can see new things – and there’s so much to see out there! When my knee is stronger still I will head back to the trails.  Overall, my legs feel stronger, and my cholesterol has come down along with my weight, so I am starting to see some fitness benefits now.

There are more tests still to come, and for now I will continue.  There are other people who have their own runstreaks going, and I am inspired by them and their ability to continue every single day for as long as they have.  I am not putting pressure on myself – I just want to do it whilst I enjoy it.

8 things I learned from Marcothon.

At the end of November, I had an invite on Facebook to an event called Marcothon.  The basic premise was simple: all you had to do was run every day in December for a minimum of 25 minutes or 3 miles, whichever came first.

Initially I was going to reject that idea.  December is a hectic month at the best of times, and I really didn’t see how I’d manage it.  During this Marcothon I would also be getting married, as well as celebrating birthdays and Christmas.  However, as I’d not done a lot of training since the Berlin Marathon I figured that even if I did the minimum each day it would provide a good fitness base to work from, so I said Yes to the invite.

On December 2nd, there was an unexpected death in the family.  I could have stopped there and no-one would have said anything.  But I didn’t, and from that point on I felt that the only way I could stop would be if I got injured.  There was no excuse that mattered after that.

  1. Planning ahead helps.

Looking ahead to see when I could fit my daily run in helped me to be more organised.  If I knew when I was likely to be free to run I had more chance of actually getting out there and achieving that day’s target.

2. Be prepared in case of schedule changes.

I kept my trainers and running gear in my car so that if there was a cancellation, or I finished early then I had a chance to get my run done without wasting time.  This helped me with #3:

3. You can see lots of different things.

I got to run in a number of different places that I had wanted to run in, but had never previously had the opportunity to do.  As a result, I saw lots of new places and found that my running was more enjoyable with the changes in scenery.  I especially enjoyed running around the streets in the evening and seeing all the Christmas lights on people’s houses and garden trees.  They have been so pretty to look at and really nice to see so many people getting into the Christmas spirit.

4.  It can be a great way to socialise.

There were a couple of runs over the month where I had company, and that was great as it gave me a chance to catch up with my running buddy, and we got some fresh air.  December has so many parties and social opportunities that I was grateful to have a social catch-up without eating or drinking coffee.  You also don’t notice the miles as much when you have someone to chat to.

5.  It can help you clear your mind.

With everything that has been going on over the last few weeks, it has been good to get out and just have 25-30 minutes to mull things over.  I have felt pressured when out though to get back and get on with things, but once I am out there I can just think things through, and occasionally find the answers I want too.

6.  Coffee isn’t as important as it used to be.

Now, I like my coffee.  I don’t need it to wake up to though now, as there were a couple of times in the month that in order to get my run in I had to be up earlier than I would generally have liked.  Both of these involved literally getting up, getting dressed and getting on with it.  I think I was actually out running before I could say I was awake!  I know now that I don’t need coffee to get out running (but it is nice).

7.  There’s no ‘NO’.

Procrastination goes out of the window.  There’s no “Shall I?” because you ARE going out unless you want to drop out of the challenge.  As I said above, there was no excuse big enough to drop out so it became a case of WHEN rather than IF.  That made me better organised overall, and I feel that I was much more productive over the course of the day – especially on the days where I had to be up and about earlier.

8.  Mixing it up helps keep it interesting.

There were times when mentally and physically it did feel like hard work to get out consistently, and I found that I tried to plan optimally so that I wasn’t doing runs back to back too closely – so if I went out on an evening, I tried not to go out too early the next morning.  If I did a speed session on one day then I tried to take it a bit easier the next day.  Different scenery and a few hill sessions helped to keep things mixed up well.

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I enjoyed the challenge, and I have actually decided to try and keep going – the next goal I have set is to continue to make 50 days consecutive running.  Some days I will have to stick to the minimum time-frame, and other days I want to try and start getting back to longer distances.

The cameraderie of Marcothon was another reason to keep going.  Everyone was so supportive and generous in their time and comments to each other to keep the motivation high.  Thank you to everyone – it was fun, and I hope to be back again next December to go again.

25 minutes a day can seem like nothing to some people and yet it can feel like forever when you are doing it, but it did make me realise that I could be putting more of my day to better use, and that’s my aim for 2016.

What could you be doing better with your time?  Is there any activity you could be doing in 25 minutes a day?  Let me know!

Have a great day!

Vixx 😀

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Twitter: @KineticL

©2016 Vixx Thompson/Kinetic Lifestyle.  All rights reserved.  No reproduction in whole or in part without permission.